Funny Serious Email

We were at work today and someone left a company that we deal with and sent out a final email to his whole company. I do not know the why, but they certainly are a funny and clever person. The following is a copy of their note:

As none of you may know, today is my last day. I have learned a lot in myshort 2+ year stay and have meet some wonderful and intelligent people. So,you ask, "why resign", "where are you going" and "how did you get so charmingly savvy"?

I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dreamof mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune,fame, and hair-raising adventure. Our path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that provides, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade atmy hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will findmy true calling.

Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer and deck hand, if you are at all interested in applying. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets. You, on the other hand, are solely responsible for providing your own cutlass and pistol; eyepatch, parrot and/or peg leg are optional, and which to bring are left entirely up to yarr liking. Please also include a brief description of any skills you posses that would be helpful to me as Captain and to the rest of my crew, i.e swordsmanship. In addition, it would be in your favor to list other items such as, but not limited to, best cannon loading times, number of villages plundered and a list of the previous captains you have served under and the vessels there unto which you have called home. We sail at three bells.

Please send all resumes and inquiries to ahoym8eeargh@yahoo.com