Here we are back at the Kodak theatre, for a night of commercials and gay songs. They open with a Beach Boy Classic medley. Scott the Body sings Baberanne. He sounds like a bird getting shot from the sky. Horrible. Everyone sounds bad. But the girls look great. Wow. The real genius in this thing is the person who will get people to buy these tickets when they go on tour. Usually hicks and people from Kansas City think that the idols are actually worth going to see.
Missing from tonight's GAYla medley are Bo Bice and Carrie. I bet they did that on purpose. I bet they are backstage right now. Its because they are the last two. Michayla on the carpet. She is more annoying on the carpet then she was on the show. Looks like we have a retrospective going on here. I am walking down AI memory lane. The walk was quick with lots of people screaming when their favorite got voted out. At the first commercial break, I am becoming bored.
Latoya is in Alabama and she pronounced his name as Bro Brice. Waz Sup Bro? Oh my he singing Vehicle again. What a nice surprise. He does not do this song enough. I think if he was actually Jim Morrison he would be so pissed after looking at his fans that he would expose himself like Morrison did in Miami in 68. Now that would be hot. I can see all the headline. Fox fallen idol exposes member on live tv.
Coming back from commercial they are in Carrie's home state of OK. They have the first lady of OK. They are predicting a Carrie win. She is singing Angels brought me here. Again. Those Angels must be tired. They are taking her everywhere. Carrie's hair is crimped tonight which means she has been to the stylist. Dressed in country jeans and a plaid shirt she looks like Gartha Brookes Underwood. Yee Ha. She is singing her little country heart out tonight. Again, something only hicks and people from Kansas City would understand.
I just realized how gay I am for watching this show.
Coming back from commercial at 8:33, the Randy Dog is is being interviewed by Ryan. They are now doing a retrospect of Simon and Paula. They are showing the nasty Paula. She keeps saying shutup. Paula is now being interviewed now and she is saying that Simon is a fungus. Of course Paula makes no sense. Back into commercial again at 8:36
Back from commercial at 8:41 and they are interviewing Simon. A piece with Latoya and the crowd went really bad. Latoya is dressed like the queen mum and there is a little Bo Bice Punk shouting questions. Lots of audio problems. They are now showing the seasons biggest meltdowns. The biggest one is of the mom of a boy who got through. Now he is a little light in the feet and she is crying like she has seen the ghost of Christ himself.
2nd hour of the Fox Idol Special. The judges have taken their seats. Up where we belong being sung by Carrie and Bo. Bo is a one dimensional long haired hippie freak with one octave at best and a case of I am a celebrity-itis. I just had a flash ahead. Its the year 2022 and I am still blogging and its the emmys and announcing song of the year are Bo and Carrie.
Ryan has a surprise. He is holding out keys. Bo looks nervous. I think he thinks it is the key to Ryan's hotel room. They just won two new Mustangs. Now they are comparing the two. Carrie has strange teeth. Odd a farm girl has had Hollywood teeth put in. They keep hinting about a Simon controversey.
Back from commercial at 9:08. Showing the bad performances for the year. Really getting their money worth out of this bit. My god they cut to Hall and Oates again for the second time this season and the dark haired one looks retarded. Highlight of this segment is David Hassledorf showing up for the retarded boy.. Out at 9:16
Back at 9:22. The Simon secret. A clever attempt to goof on the Paula Scandel. It shows Paula and Randy cutting a CD and touting a book. I think we found a new job for Constantine. This show is becoming two hours too long.. There is a commercial every 6 minutes.
Carrie is singing with Rascal Flats. I only know of this group from Erik the Midget who calls into Howard Stern. Pretty good job. Anthony and Anwar singing with Kenny G. If I could fly. Afed it flat. Once again Anwar can't hear the music and is off again. Anwar is like the the retarded boy who can sing. But he just cannot hear the song. I had such high hopes for him. But he fell so hard. Constantine the poser. Thinks he is in aerosmith. Jessica should not be wearing that outfit. This sounds like three cats being skinned alive. Scott and Niko. Oh no. Niko sounds good and they are singing a song that Scott can sing On Broadway. This is horrible. Yet I cannot turn it off. Like the Magic Johnson show.
Vonzell and the 5th Beatle. Vonzel should be singing more. This was good and Billy looks like he is in love. She may be a bit too old for him. Baby face and Michayla and the other girl. Baby face looks scared by the two of them. OUCH, this is so bad. Michayla cannot sing for a lick but I think she would be a randy little lady in the bedroom. Oh my god Bo and Lynard. This is Bo's only shot that he gets on their revival tour. They already lost half the band to a plane crash, whats another train wreck. All this bullshit just took us to the 9:47 mark.
Now it is time to find out who won. Back from break there has been a costume change. Judges last thoughts. Everyone says what a great season it has been. A suit walks out with the results. Carrie has won and once again I am right. I have picked all 4 right. I am 4 for 4. She is the most marketable out of the group left. Carrie is now going to sing her single. I hope bo Bice falls into the dark pits of hell since he never should have been there. Get him an eight ball and some Jack and hope Lynard has another accident. I can see it now. Bo Bice fronting for the Lynard Grandsons.
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