My Squirrel Story

Being an Audobon enthusiast, I know that fall brings with it great responsibilities. The responsibilities that I speak of are making sure that our friends with feathers are well fed. Now for all you metro sexuals out there, friends with feathers does not include your friend Ian who dresses as a boa clad Carol Channing. I am talking actual birds. Now this year is especially important because I hear that they are all getting winter colds. But during the cold months when food is scarce it is important that we provide them with seed, bread, and fat to help fill their bellies and make it through the cold winter nights. So on schedule I began feed the birds last week. Now each morning one or two show up on their perch and we chirp together before I leave for work. The birds seem to like when I, we sing and whistle the second verse to Moon River.

Two drifters, off to see the world,
There's such a lot of world to see,
We're after the same rainbows end,Waitin' 'round the bend,
My Huckleberry friend,
Moon River, and me!

Then it is off to work, how dee do dah day. Well that brings me to my story about the squirrel. Now, many do not know this about me but I can actually talk to the squirrels. A talent or ability I picked up after falling out of a tree when I was a child. No one was around when I fell and I was knocked out in the fall. But when I came to, I remember seeing a blurry squirrel face in my line of sight, and felt a cold little paw slapping me across the face.... and as I became more aware that I was coming out of my tree fall coma, I heard the rodent saying "are you ok, snap out of it" It faded into the chattering sound. Ever since that day, although I do not hear it in English anymore, I can chirp and hold conversations with squirrels. So yesterday I came home or lunch and found one squirrel in the bird feeder. Now this was not a country squirrel that I have become accustomed to speaking with. This was a hood rat squirrel with attitude. He had a reddish tone to his fur, I suspect he may be a blood. So I made noise to get him away from the feeder but it fell upon deaf rodent ears. I then began to chirp in his own language to him. He stood up and chirped back. This went on for about a minute with this squirrel becoming more aggressive with each passing chirp. Finally I said something that made him take a step back, look around, and then he left. I am not quite sure what I said to him. Perhaps my country squirrel dialect that did the trick